An update on the day to day here in week 2.5 which is a little more busy than expected. The following is a list of the medical issues and complications. Then there is a little bit on how I am doing-
5 day period:
A typical reaction to counts dropping- 2 days in bed with the inability to sit or stand…. Inconclusive battery of tests. Have recovered for the most part-
Normal neutrepenic nasty feeling … sick daily, but definitely manageable.
The sinus infection has caused some reactions, a cough that has kept me well aware of the necessity of narcotics
Your run of the mill Throat and Mouth sores.
Hair- …. Gone (I know its been gone for years )
Vincristine reaction- morphine 3x daily for GI pain
Multiple fevers from neutrepenia.
4 or 5 chest x-rays
Several Ct scans
Platelets dropped to 11- reds 23- (many transfusions-)
Anaphylactic reaction to a platelet transfusion. (could scare you all with the details, I am grateful for a competent team and blessings from heaven. 2 hours of fighting for air- never more aware of the fragility of life-)
Bone Marrow Biopsy - 2 holes 1 bent needle…. And a large sample. (Team Did a Great Job)
So all of that has its place, but what I have experienced this week has far more weight than the bits of drama. This week had plenty of reasons to be down, frustrated, scared, and well, just not thrilled about any of the prognosis. However I have to say this week was a great week. You have to understand though some of these things were new and difficult, I am not unaware of the existence of these particular setbacks. With this said, I spent plenty of this time dealing with the realistic side effects which can be grim, but we all must so that we can feel the power of what is really occurring in and around us-
This week I had the sobering opportunity to experience many events that either move you forward or make you question all. My heart has grown and in the weakest moments when even laying still seemed an impossible task I found the support I have fill in the darkest places and settle my soul. There are moments daily when, while I know why and what I am doing, it remains a challenge to harness the necessary courage to take the next step. It is no different for anyone in a situation that challenges their ability and threatens all that they know. However, I have found myself in these moments of seeming terror with a new resource of strength. I find that when I am at my lowest it is the time when I call upon the strength of each of you. Every note, call, message, and prayer are what I go to when I am scared. I have messages from so many of you that while I may not respond to, have that power to lighten the load, and allow me to move forward. The gratitude I have is immense. I hear these comments of how inspiring my experience is and cant help but feel as though the inspiration is really found in the outpouring of love from all of you. I watch patients here handle far greater disease with far greater composure and pray for such strength. Until then and continually, I am grateful for the belief, the faith, the dedication and for you joining me in this great journey.
I will post later the results of the Bone Marrow Biopsy. We have come a long way in just a few weeks and I look forward to the victories and news to come. I know that in this there will be many weeks like this, challenging ones. I am grateful I can share the low points and the high. I am grateful that with everything that is going on, Cancer has its place, and for each of us we have the ability to let cancer or whatever it is that besets us, to only be what it is, and Nothing more. I am grateful that Anna has helped me keep this focus, and continues to be a great link to peace. May we all be so blessed, I pray each of you can feel of the greatness that is being poured down from heaven- I will post a video update soon- C is Still For Chad-
-Wed
